I can’t tell you how many times I hear owners say - so embarrassed - “oh I admit she’s allowed on the bed” or “I’m sorry he’s a boy spoiled.”
Good!! You are absolutely allowed to spoil your dog!
Give them treats for free!
Let them sleep in your bed!
Allow them on the sofa!
The photo below shows my Molly in her favourite place, chilling on the sofa. I don’t just not care that she jumps on without asking - I encourage it!
I also don’t care if she pulls a bit on lead, or doesn’t walk perfectly to heel.
I don’t care if she asks for the end of a carrot when I’m cooking.
I don’t care if she goes through a door before me.
The answer of why, is pretty simple. These things are all examples of ways the disproven Dominance Theory (also known as the Alpha Theory) still affects us.
People still say, dogs have to ask for permission before coming onto the sofa, or that going through a door first shows they are the boss of you. This is all a total myth. Read more about it here: https://www.muckypups-dogtraining.com/post/the-alpha-theory-and-why-it-s-a-load-of-rubbish
But I won’t go into all that detail again, other than to say that holding on to these ideas encourages us to try to control our dogs, instead of treating them as part of the family - which, honestly, is what your dog wants. They don’t want to be the boss! They want to be loved and love you.
So, don’t get me wrong, my dog knows ‘heel’, and if i needed it, say in a busy town, she would do it and I would reward her. But I rarely use it. On our normal walks, she leads the way, she stops and sniffs when and where she wants, and occasionally there will be tension on the lead.
Sure, I’ve trained a ‘go to your bed’, so if I do have guests that don’t like dogs she can give them space, but on a day to day basis, she’s on the sofa having snuggles.
Sure, I’ve taught a great leave it in case I drop a bit of onion or garlic in the kitchen, but generally, if I drop something, I don’t care if she eats it.
There’s a fine line between spoiling your dog and letting them get away with everything. I encourage you to spoil your dog, but find that balance. Your dog is allowed to eat a dropped bit of carrot, but they need a leave it cue too, otherwise they could eat something dangerous.
Think about your own life… must you perform a chore every time you want a snack? Must you mop the floor or tidy the desk for every single crisp you eat? Of course not! Do you have to wait for permission before greeting a friend? Do you have someone telling you where you’re not allowed to sit or lie down? We are just trying to be comfortable and happy, why should our dogs be any different?
Train your dog life skills so that they can stay safe, confident, and be able to express themselves. Other than that, all the other bits come later!
Treat your dogs with as much love and care as you can. Bond with them and enjoy their fun! Forget about those societal expectations where our dogs have to be perfectly behaved robots. As long as they are happy, confident, and friendly, what’s the problem?
So, go ahead and spoil your dog! Give them a treat from me!
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