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Life Skills VS Obedience

Updated: Apr 15

Let’s stop looking at dogs who are barking / growling / lunging at ‘naughty dogs’ who need training.


“Train your dog!”


“He’s out of control!”


“She needs better obedience!”


The truth is… those dogs don’t need obedience training. Obedience training will either not help, or it will hide and suppress an underlying problem.

The reason those dogs are acting that way is because of their emotions. And that’s okay! Everyone has emotions. You wouldn’t train a child with obedience, or try to ‘train’ your partner. When a friend gets upset, you wouldn’t dream of telling them they need to ‘behave’.


So why do we do those things with our dogs?


Dogs need to be socialised at all ages. This means that they need to learn manners and life skills. Obedience should come second to that.


So I’m certainly not saying to never train your dog. But what I am saying is that it’s not the end of the world if your dog doesn’t lay down when asked every single time. It’s not the end of the world if their recall isn’t perfect (that’s what long lines or secure fields are for). It’s not the end of the world if your dog can’t walk perfectly past another dog, as long as they are reasonably polite.

But, it is a problem if they are scared of new things. Or if they bark and lunge at dogs. Or if they are overwhelmed by crowds.


In these situations, training likely won’t help. It’s the dog’s emotions that you need to help, through socialisation and gentle exposure, whilst teaching life skills.


These life skills will vary from dog to dog, family to family, but could include,

  • Consent training / cooperation training, so vets and groomer visits are calm

  • Learning to be calm around people / dogs / cats / etc.

  • Learning to safely explore new things


And when it comes to other important things, you might say ‘I can’t have my dog pulling me down the street!’ Well, I agree. But there’s a HUGE difference between a dog learning to walk calmly on lead (life skill) and a dog learning to march in the perfect heel position at your side (obedience).


So, lets get those dogs learning life skills first!


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